So funny, My son picked up an injured kitten on a job site when it was cold and raining and tossed it into my brand new truck. heâs a softy and a sucker like me. That was five years ago and he is still here and there are no mice, snakes, scorpions or spiders hanging around here. My wife does not like cats but she respects Tom-Tom because she has seen him in action. Good kitty!
Amen to that. Theres no longer a shortage of nuts. Id say we have a bumper crop.
An old man was seeking compensation for his injuries when a truck hauling cattle turned over in front of him spilling all of the cattle onto the highway. The judge called him to the bench and said, sir at the time of the accident you stated âclearlyâ to the trooper at the scene that were fine, three times. Now you say you suffered a broken leg. Can you please explain that to me? Yes sir your honor, the old man began to explain. When that Trooper showed up he talked to the driver for a minute, then he pulled his pistol and begin walking to each each injured cow, The driver would say 'he has a broken leg. Boom! the Trooper shot him. Next cow, broken leg the driver said , Boom! Trooper shot him. The Trooper walked up to me and asked If I was hurt? I said no sir! Iâm fine. And he asked me two more times and I said No sir!
Iâm fine. âJerry Clowerâ
humorous reply to a comment made by Brandon âwhen ministers misinterpretâ
An old man ho had always lived alone in a very modest small house and kept to himself even though when someone did speak to him he was always cordial and polite. he always had a beautiful vegetable garden and would work in it from sun up to sundown. He always had much more than he needed and would give bushels to his neighbors every year. One day the old man died on a beautiful spring morning. As soon as his neighbors didnât see him in the garden, they knew something was wrong. They checked on him and found him in his easy chair. Turned out he had no family, they had never seen him with guests. They realized that the only friends he had were âusâ his neighbors. So they made arrangements and chipped in together to give him a decent burial. When he was greeted in heaven by his wife who had passed away 40 yrs earlier, she said come on, Iâll show you around. She showed him all of the wonderful places and people. Then as they came near one area, she said we must be extremely quiet when we pass this area. Her husband asked why? She replied, this is the âorganized religionâ area, they believe they are the only ones up here.
Iâve already had a couple cups and still feel like that today!! I should have made a full pot!
That! is a good idea. Pawn shop owners wont buy them because nobody will bye them from him. Using mended cords on most jobsites is prohibited.
you may be getting some hate mail soon. hahahaha
An elderly man rear-ended a guy driving an expensive sports car. Enraged, the guy hops out and confronts the old man.
âLook what you did to my carâ he yells. âYouâre going to give me $10,000 right now or Iâm going to beat you to a pulp!â
âOh myâ says the old man, âI donât have that kind of money. Let me call my son, he trains dolphins and he will know what to do.â
âDolphinsâ the other driver huffs, while rolling his eyes. The old man pulls out his phone, dials his son and just as his son answered, the irate man snatches the phone away from the old man.
âSo, YOUâRE a dolphin trainer, huh? Well, Your old man here just rear-ended my car and I need 10 grand right now or Iâm going to beat you AND your old man to a pulp.â
âIâll be there in 10 minutes,â says the voice calmly on the other end.
Exactly 10 minutes later a Jeep pulls up and a guy hops out and proceeds to pulverize the bully, leaving him in a bloody heap on the side of the road. When he finished, he walked over to his father and saidâŚ.
âFor the last time Dad, I train Seals, Navy SealsâŚNOT dolphins!â
Iâve been in the mood for a new one on this thread. You must be reading my mind again! 
