We married young, our children cherished us as much as we did them. We had customs from our childhood that we practiced all through our children’s lives because we wanted them to relive and enjoy the most precious times of our lives. It was evident that they did indeed.
as they grew older holidays became a family tradition. Every year they looked forward to indulging in those traditions on holidays. And we as their parents looked forward to it and never tired of providing them them with the joy we experienced as a child. And then they married. We as heads of our household and keepers of our children assumed that our new family members would be as appreciative as our own children of the customs and tradition that our children so enjoyed. Never thinking that their spouse had his or her own parents and holiday traditions that they cherished more than ours. This causes a lot of hurt all the way around. I cant tell my mom that we have to leave after an hour or so knowing that she worked hard for two days to prepare this grand meal. It will break her heart. [and it does]
But mom and dad hide it and are gracious and say , 'oh, we understand [not] Ya’ll go ahead, be careful and, say 'be sure and tell tell your parents Happy [whatever] … You are hurt.
Of course you are! But not realizing that you and your spouse have just been set free to enter into a new horizon. It’s really exiting if you allow yourself to accept it. So many possibilities that you always dreamed of. I chose to go for it. We thought about it and realized that our children are embarking on a new frontier. So are we. What do you say?
Yes! That is soooo true all the way around. Although, my son, Fred is only 17…I haven’t experienced what you have. BUT, even my mom (87 yrs old) has decided that all the kids running around is just too much for her. I’m sure she misses our family traditions, but so much has changed for all of us.
We are having my mom down for Thanksgiving. (down the hill that is…I can see her house from my front window…although it’s hiding in the woods.) My younger brother and his family live further down the hill (we are all within a mile from each other) and they are having his wife’s sister and her family with small children, so my mom is going to pass on that. My sister and her husband will be going to their son’s place that have a family of their own, which has small children as well. Also it’s a longer drive and it would be the whole day which my mom isn’t up to. And my oldest sister…I have no idea where she will be. Florida home, Green Bay home or traveling over seas…I can’t keep track of her and her growing family. So we will be blessed with having my mom here.
And I think your attitude with all of this is good. Skip the hurt and enjoy new adventures and new traditions. Heck…we aren’t even getting a Christmas tree this year…pain in the butt and why spend the money. If I end up hosting Christmas, it’s fine with me. We don’t need a tree…of course we did make sure it was okay with Fred before we made that decision.
My husband and I have three grown children. Christmas has always been at our home but this year my daughter-in-law asked if we would consider having Christmas at their house. I told her if the others were okay with it then I certainly was. For me it is not about the place, it’s about the people I am with.